Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Institutionalised..


I received a phone call from my Aunt Lorraine this morning. She told me that my old man had been institutionalised. In plain
English, he had gone to a retirement home.Two things came to my mind. First, there's the relief to discover that he is well and is being cared for. I don't think he could
hold out on his own at a rented home.I have spent a few thousand ringgits trying to relocate him after his partner died six months ago. Nobody, not even his closest
kin ever bothered.My aunt blamed him for her reversal of fortune. And my old man, being the Lion and King of the Hill that he once was, had
nowhere to go. As for as I've known, he is not educated and had never planned his future. Gambling and self-centeredness did this to him. My
grandmother was also the main factor. She spoilt him and left a legacy of debts and uncertainty for my aunt to mop up.She suffered a lot over the years. And blamed me and my old man for everything. I had to put up with this for 36 long years
before moving out to live with my wife.The fact that her favourite child had turned out to be a major dissapointment became a big blow to her. She took this very hard.
And well, for a woman who worked all her life, I am majorly dissapointed with her attitude towards me. For a long period of time, I was deemed as a failure. I had never measured up to other people. Everything I did sucked.
Nevertheless, I took my stride. To make up for her generosity of putting a roof over my head and providing four square meals, I still visit her until today. I don't
offer her any cash like I do with my old man.Each time we sat down and talk, she raised the past. My old man took the brunt of it. But on the other hand, she wanted to
find out how the old man is doing.I haven't got a clue since he never called. The last time I heard from him, he wanted more money. Now, with the IRB clamping
down on my income, I have nothing to spare. Not even a sen.Soon the calls became scarce. I never heard from him. So, this got my aunt worried. Naturally, she went nosing around and
lumped all the guilt on me.How can biological siblings come to this? Forgiveness is an alien term. I am glad that so far, I am able to put food on the table
and contribute my part by sharing the load on our roof.So, all that said, my mission is to trace my old man's whereabouts. Something that I would do in a coupla week's time. I know
this would be an emotional task, but the least said, he had care and food on his table.
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